How to Make an Elizabethan Corset, Part 1
(A 12-step program)
Step 1. Find fabric. Realize fabric is wrong colour. Buy red dye.
Step 2. Spend next three days trying to get dye out of washing machine. Soak fabric in vinegar to set dye. Spend next three days trying to get dye off hands.
Step 3. Sew corset together. Unpick incorrectly sewn pieces. Sew together again. Unpick. Sew again. Consider primal scream therapy.
Step 4. Measure and mark corset for boning. Sew bone casings.
Step 5. Try reed boning. Realize reeds are dried out and no longer any good. Try to find more reeds. Discover no-one sells that kind of reed anymore. Try to use reeds anyway. Spend next two days picking splinters out of hands.
Step 6. Order steel boning. Pick out sewn casings to accomodate new boning size. Throw corset across room.
Step 7. Receive notice that steel bones are back-ordered. Consider applying for nunnery.
Step 8. Two days before corset is going to be worn, get bones. Discover several bones are wrong size. Cut bones to size, and finish cut edges with tool dip. Put Band-Aids on cut hands.
Step 9. Sew lacing grommets on front of corset, using an awl to make holes. Put Band-Aids on punctured hands.
Step 10. Wear corset. Swear off sewing forever.
Step 11. Get excited by compliments. Offer to teach class.
Step 12. Start all over again.
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